1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
