Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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