Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
