Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize
