You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
