She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
