are you so shy because you have an std?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Sorry my hands just texted you
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So here I am, sexting at work.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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