Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?

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(203): omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it? http://tfl.nu/nfju

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(805): View more from California

as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"

(1-805): View more from California

uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win

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(805): as veruca salt said, "i want it now!" (1-805): uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win http://tfl.nu/zx5h

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(336): View more from North Carolina

She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?

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(336): She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous? http://tfl.nu/rvj0

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(229): View more from Georgia

College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant

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(229): College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant http://tfl.nu/1flc

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone

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(414): we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone http://tfl.nu/fyy6

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(831): View more from California

No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick

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(831): No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick http://tfl.nu/r1nb

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(514): View more from Quebec

Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for

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(514): Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for http://tfl.nu/ftay

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...

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(978): you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool... http://tfl.nu/os9w

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(510): View more from California

no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.

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(510): no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her. http://tfl.nu/kcyk

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(541): View more from Oregon

I want a burrito.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Truly, you are the voice of a generation.

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(541): I want a burrito. (1-541): Truly, you are the voice of a generation. http://tfl.nu/xqng

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(573): View more from Missouri

I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...

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(573): I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head... http://tfl.nu/us9j

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(315): View more from New York

Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?

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(315): Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake? http://tfl.nu/vje4

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(613): View more from Ontario

Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea

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(613): Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea http://tfl.nu/b2wl

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(956): View more from Texas

Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .

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(956): Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . . http://tfl.nu/ha2v

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(785): View more from Kansas

His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.

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(785): His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less. http://tfl.nu/hesm

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