Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
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it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process