I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching