I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
