It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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