Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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