I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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