I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
