never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
