do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
