Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
