I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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