btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
