watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
