I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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