Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
dude i'm inner monologue high
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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