hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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