he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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