my soul wont recognize me after tonight
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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