my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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