wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
