I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
