i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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