Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize