Can i not drive my cunt home
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
