Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
