On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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