Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
