I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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