ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
