Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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