Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(

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(847): View more from Illinois

Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".

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(512): View more from Texas

And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'

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(631): View more from New York

It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?

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(206): View more from Washington

I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.

(1-206): View more from Washington

You are nothing if not reliable.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine

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(360): View more from Washington

The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...

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(716): View more from New York

Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.

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