As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
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If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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