it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize