I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize