Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
