I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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