Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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