that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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