Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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