dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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