S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
