Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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