Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
