Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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