i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
