I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
