I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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