I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
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I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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