how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
