its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
