I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
