Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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