New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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