In the future we'll all be gay
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Drake has all the answers
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
