hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
