Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
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I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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