If that was your dad, he is hot
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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