No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
